Dad Bod Bullshit

I tried to avoid it, but I have to put my two cents in on this topic.

While scrolling through Facebook I came across several links with titles proclaiming something along the lines of: ‘The Dad Bod – The New Trend Women Are Crazy For!’ along with a picture of Leonardo DiCaprio looking rather chubby. This infuriated me.
First of all, Leo is the fucking man. He’s suave, rich, handsome and an amazing actor. He could gain 100 pounds and still successfully bed all the Victoria Secret Models. The rest of you: No!

Secondly, shouldn’t we, as a culture, be encouraging healthy lifestyles? I thought we were trying to become a less obese society, lower diabetes and take some pressure off the healthcare system. Telling young men that drinking beer, eating garbage and not exercising will only make them more appealing to the opposite sex is super counter productive.

I’ll tell you why this initially made me mad: Never in my lifetime will an article be titled: ‘Saggy Butts and Bellies ā€“ The Body Type Men Are Going Gaga For!’ because we live in a sexist, stupid, hypocritical society and I’ve come to terms with this. But come on! This is just rubbing it in.

I’m at the age where I think dad-types are sexy. Nothing gets me going like a salt-and-peppered distinguished man of a certain age. I am attracted to healthy looking older men. Not dudes with bigger breasts than me, who get winded walking up a flight of stairs and who could potentially suffocate me during sex.

I’m in no ways trying to fat bash or say people who are overweight are lazy. We’re all prone to fluctuating weight. I myself have ballooned, standing at 5’2ā€ a gain of 10 pounds is extremely obvious on me. There were times in my life when all I ate was McDonald’s. If I was stressed or tired or depressed or busy, my physique suffered for it.
I don’t expect the men in my life to have ripped, tight bodies. My ex had moobs and was the definition of ‘skinny fat.’ He was also busy working two jobs while going to school and barely had time to cook or workout, but he wasn’t being an all-out glutton by any means. I’m not perfect. I’ve been known to eat crap, smoke and drink in excess, but for the most part I am conscious of what I put in my body. I exercise, I eat lots of fruits and veggies and I usually only drink water. I do these things so that once in a while I can get stoned, eat an entire pizza, a bag of chips and a chocolate bar. If I want something, I don’t deprive myself of it ever, but it’s the 80/20 approach. I need to counter those bad eating habits or I’m going to have some serious problems in the future.

I’m almost 30, if someone is going to share a life with me then they need to share my semi-healthy outlook on life or they’ll only be weighing me down, literally and metaphorically.


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