Figuring it Out

I may have finally figure out this sex with no strings attached thing…

It started about 3 weeks ago… I was at the bar, a few drinks in and talking to a very forward and rather cute American guy named Ted.  We had spent most of the night getting pretty handsy on the dance floor and although we had met and chatted before we had certainly taken that next step to flirting.  I had work in the morning and had stopped drinking so I finally decided to bow out, but I was much intrigued.  Ted is well-traveled, intelligent, sweet and attractive.  On top of all that, he is 8 years my senior so I was counting on him knowing his way around a female body.  He is forward and a little slutty, I am shy and a little slutty, I was about to leave this small town for good so why not have a little fun?
He and Kennedy were on friendly terms and he sent her a text inviting her, myself and our friend Jill (who was in town visiting and is apparently my sex charm) to come by his house and look through his insane telescope.  I was totally keen since I was hoping it would lead to something else and I really wanted to see the rings of Saturn that were promised to me. The stargazing was incredible, but I couldn’t entirely relax.  I didn’t know what to say or how to act, especially with my friends present.  We all decided to sit in the hot tub for a while and pretty soon after, Kennedy and Jill felt too flushed and went back inside the house.  Ted and I sat alone and chitchatted. I looked down at my pruney hands and suggested maybe we get out.  That’s when, out of nowhere, he leaned over and kissed me.  It took me by surprise, but it wasn’t unwelcome.  He was an awesome kisser and we started making out despite the fact we were clearly visible from the house and in plain view of the girls.  Things begun to get intense and I tried to think of what to do next. Should I cut it off to leave with my friends and pick things back up another time? Should I go inside and ask my friends to help wingman me? Luckily, they made the decision for me by clearing their throats rather loudly while coming outside and announcing, “We’re going to go home, call us later if you need a ride!”
I love those girls.
We got back into it and soon enough we were entirely naked.  Terrified of one of his roommates walking outside and disgusted by the potential amount of bacteria present in the jacuzzi, I suggested we move things inside.
Once we had relocated to his bedroom, I busted out my sexiest moves.  He went down on me for ages, but when I tried to go down on him he panicked and abruptly declared, “Let’s slow things down a little.” I guess he had more beers than I realized while waiting for us to show up at his house and was having some, for lack of a better word, trouble. I reassured him that there was no rush whatsoever and insisted he relax.  I went to work putting on a show for him and his liquid courage began to manifest itself because he bent me over and before I knew it we were having sex.
Now I know it’s wrong to have unprotected sex with someone who is more or less a stranger, but it felt so great and I was scared the wind would leave his sail, that I didn’t stop him.
When we were finished he started, “You can sleep over if you want, or I can drive you home.  I do have to be up early.”
I took that as, I want you to leave, but I’m too polite to say, so I took him up on the ride home. I got home and the girls were waiting up for me to ask for all the dirty details.  I told them everything and they both scolded me for being unsafe and playing with fire.  I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

I woke up in the morning to a friend request from Ted.  I felt flattered and couldn’t help but smile.  My grin grew larger when later in the day he sent me a message, “Hey, last night was really fun. :)”
Yes, yes it was…
“I hope this isn’t too forward of me,” he continued, “but are you on birth control?  We kind of broke the no condom rule last night.” My face fell.  This was the reason he was communicating with me?  To ease his own anxiety?  I assured him I was on birth control and lectured him on asking such questions beforehand.  Since I was just as much to blame I reigned in my anger and questioned his sexual past.  He tried to assure me he was healthy and went for regular checkups but I wasn’t entirely convinced. I felt dirty and used, but why?  Ted is a cool guy, but definitely not my type and I didn’t want to have anything more than a physical relationship with him.  Was I so insecure that I needed every guy I fucked to fall head over heals in love with me so that I could have the joy of brushing him off?  Or maybe I was just terrified of being so meaningless and easy to drop?  Either way I was confused.

The next night I joined Jill and Kennedy at the pub for a wine tasting and pizza eating event.  It was great fun and the vino was definitely flowing.  I was already tipsy when Ted showed up with a few others.  Despite my best judgement, he and I begun engaging in sexy banter and before I knew it he had me pushed up against a corner wall with his tongue down my throat. “Let’s get out of here,” we both agreed. We said goodbye to our respective crews and they all snickered knowingly, but neither of us cared.

We chatted back and forth and crossed paths again a couple days later at the bar.  Once again, we spent the night together. A few days passed without us being able to rendezvous and when we finally had an opportunity to meet up, he had come down with a nasty cold.  I waited patiently for 3 days and finally saw him when a few of us went to his house to watch a movie.  He was still feeling a little under the weather but that didn’t stop me from jumping his bones the moment everyone else left. This was a regrettable choice as the next day I immediately came down with the same cold and it lasted for 3 weeks (and counting, the story coming up next!) We hooked up once more while I was sick and then spent the night together before I was meant to leave. It was the best sex we’d had together and we both agreed we should try to meet up over in Aus.

My travel plans went array and I ended back in town knowing he would be back from a work trip in a couple weeks.  I started getting uneasy about potentially seeing him again.  Did he want to see me?  Does he care about me at all?  Am I coming on too strong by messaging him? That’s when I realized: I don’t give a shit! The sex is good, he’s a cool guy, I want to sleep with him again so I’m going to do it.  Who cares what he thinks?  I know he’s not for me, so why all the pressure?  He should count his lucky stars that a beautiful woman like me would even glance in his direction.

I think I finally found the key to meaningless sex.

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One thought on “Figuring it Out

  1. Pingback: Emotion Rules Supreme |

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