My friend Andi was griping to us girls. After a six month draught, she finally slept with a guy she went to high school with. She was horrified by his weird sex noises and her lack of an orgasm, but how could she have known it’d be so disappointing?
That’s when I came up with the brilliant idea of sex interviews. Think about it… You wouldn’t hire someone without first interviewing them and comparing them to other contenders. You wouldn’t entrust your children to someone you just met. So why your orgasms? Some might argue that the first roll in the hay is like a trial, but I say there should be a less violating and more practical way to find out if a man is good at sex. This is my brilliant plan for recruiting my next sex buddy, tell me what you think guys.
The Interview Process:
- All applicants must arrive with a CV. This will consist of a “Head Shot” (hehe) of their erect penis. Resume should include but not be limited to: special skills, sexual likes and dislikes and any known fetishes.
- All candidates must provide references for the last three women they were intimate with.
- The interview process will last 20 minutes and will contain questions such as:
“What is your stance on cuddling?” and
“How many times can you go in one night?”
- Following the interview there will be a one minute trial make out session. This will be followed with a sex preview in which the candidate will demonstrate their best moves on a mannequin.
- The process will conclude with an STD test.
What will the winning contender get out of this? Why, the pleasure of sex with me of course. Whenever, wherever.